(Sung to the tune of the _Man They Call Jayne_)

Joe, the DM we call Joe…


He made us fight swamp guys with poisonous breath.

Tried to kill Ray with a Fun Ball of Death.

Let me sacrifice my dear monk, Hung Lo…

The maddest baddest brony

Our DM called Joe.


He asks if we're ready to enter

'A World of Fantasy and Adventure!'

With fist full of dice,

and drinks over ice;

Bravely, we answer, 'Sure!'



He's made us fight vampires, and sirens and birds,

And some of those harpies had really gross turds.

He tried to kill Ray using Sum Dum Ho.

That's why we love him,

Our DM called Joe.


Now here's what makes Joe different

From other DM's we know.

Other DM's like to kill our characters,

But on us, Mercy doth Joe show!

He says, "I won't do that to my characters!

They're all just players in my play!

And if I want to play God, I have to let these poor sods

Live! To fight another day!"



We've fought battles over a huge lava pit.

He's also had us kill a lot of undead shit.

With deerlings and unicorn horns,

It's always a great show.

He looks good in icing,

Our DM called Joe.


(sung to Joe directly)

I've written you D and D erotica…

And now, you've got a theme song to boot!

The party took a vote in your absence.

We'd like some level 18 loot. (or artifacts?)



Oh he's made us fight lizards and lobster men.

He made us fight Legion so he got to kill Ray again.

We love Friday night,  in case you didn't know.

This wasn't just about sucking up,

We really do love you Joe!